1. |
Call Sign
02:30
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Heard your call sign, L.A.G’s enough,
looked appalled like everything I touch
didn’t fuck up,
empathy’s a long line,
join me will you, sometime, here?
Had the highlights scalped by everyone,
screened the calls like gravity hung up,
and at the lunch
you held me by the jawline,
and everything was alright then,
a sucker for a joyride,
misery’s a goldmine, and man,
you had to be there then,
you had to be there when it last looked up,
you had to be there when we tied it up,
to be given a lack-thereof,
to be there when the silence stopped,
to be there then was not enough.
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2. |
History Out Loud
03:35
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This room was amazing man,
but the top bunk was taken now,
were you there for the meltdown?
It all went pretty south,
I’m all in,
history out loud,
it’s coming.
On balance I’d not done well,
thought I had the technique down,
but I took the letters out and
I made it say out loud
it’s spinning me out,
when I get back in town
you’re taking me out,
it’s really been all turning inside out.
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3. |
Easier
04:20
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Field the floor,
I said it wasn’t stable,
are you worried at all?
“I thought you guys had cable?”,
breathlessly. The cavity you left had its own paywall.
Settle the score, like,
was it really painful?
Spiral,
let you down easier,
if I could
I’d let you down easier,
let you down easy.
“What in the world
made you think I’m grateful?”,
US ’94,
I’d call you on the payphone.
Eventually, decembering made me drop the plane low,
I’d felt it before, like,
further back than April…
A tyrant,
let you down easier.
Light work,
let you down easier,
let you down easy.
If I could,
I would.
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4. |
Living
03:50
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No matter how bad it’s gotten,
I’ll remember the mornings right.
I’ll get the coats and
you get the water,
get in the car
and drive it a yard and back.
Is this good, is it?
Get me out.
Could we live in
separate houses?
That would be nice,
‘cus I’m tired of living,
but you said, lying,
“trust me, like, I’ll be fine”,
but could you be happy now?
I guess nothing happens now.
Drifting at sevens,
every effort wide,
the way we were heading,
not exactly ascension, right?
Everything led you on,
so would you be willing to
kill me for real this time,
or else we’ll be on again, off again,
Ross-and-Rachel-ing life,
so could you be happy now?
I guess nothing happens now.
We could be living now,
but we won’t admit it out loud.
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5. |
So Further
03:57
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You dove straight in the river,
the dust spiked the air,
one too many second thoughts,
how couldn’t you care? I guess you’re right,
such a blissful existence,
life just happens, then?
It shouldn’t be this easy though,
I knew that you’d forget,
I told you man,
I’d like to learn to turn my head off.
It’s all by the letter,
I feel like it’s rare
I get front and centre, but
I’ll be barely there,
you go ahead.
I’d just like to live in the moment once.
It’s so much further,
but I like it there,
I like me there,
I like you there.
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6. |
Past Life
03:22
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It gets you bad,
it gets you to pine for what you felt.
Summer fell,
left a new line across my brow.
Can’t you tell?
Been circling signs along the belt,
me as well?
Auditioning time to call myself out.
It pulls me aside, tells me that I’m a coward too,
a steeper incline to what I had,
it’ll take a long while yet before I was happy too,
but I’m giving it time to kill itself.
I guess it’s sad,
it settled in stripes along my chest.
What’s next?
Live a long life, be someone else’s.
Yeah, I’m giving it time to hollow out,
the brittle inside, the blackened shell,
it hits me all the time, I know it well.
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7. |
Slowdown ft. Clara Benin
03:55
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I begged to go where I can go now,
amongst the drift, within the slowdown,
half alive and half reliving hours,
pass the time thawing out the house,
and I stayed to watch you mourn us
in a way I felt without,
and that’s when I felt the smallest,
whilst I waited to melt it down.
The legs were staggered several months out,
you left the dagger blunt and somehow
sank the blade slower over time,
your palisades quickly lost their shine.
Getting paid to be your warden
when it was me that wanted out,
and I know I’m not important,
but it was brave to say aloud.
Still, you let me live,
a second stint.
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8. |
29
03:12
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I won’t get back in the saddle,
I can’t switch off the empathy channel,
the static spoke to my lack of backbone,
so go slowly,
I wouldn’t be able to say it,
it left me embarrassed.
I won’t sit back at the table, I won’t,
and somehow
it’s gotta be everything,
let me envision it -
given that generally
I wasn’t good at this,
I have to plan it out.
I’ll grow up eventually,
wish I hadn’t mentioned it,
I hadn’t regretted it
until you said it had been
trouble to carry me around.
I can’t get back on the ladder,
but I’d live here - Heaven, Seattle -
if only! Heaven’s a gamble
I don’t want now,
and I won’t sleep, but if I was able,
I’d trace it back to the cradle,
it held in its confidence better somehow,
hell, I won’t,
I’ll always be fledgling,
always in anything,
I set the precedent,
it was belittling,
not even a little bit of pride.
Somewhere in the middle I
lost it in New Orleans,
got ‘em to post to me,
without saying anything,
I’ll let you handle it, alright?
It looks like you’ve got it all covered anyway, right?
You’re better than me at it, I would just mess it up, it’s fine,
I somehow, regrettably, pass up on everything I find,
like, I haven’t lived enough to be nearly 29.
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9. |
Wherewithal
02:38
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Unless you walked the long way,
I’ll see you in five.
I only called to just say
‘I’ve been doing fine’.
I guess I called the timing right,
I guess you saw it all the time.
A cannonball, a rest day,
I’ve been reassigned.
The wherewithal to not say
‘life’s been really nice’,
so don’t let the time go by,
and don’t let the blood dry,
and don’t let me die inside,
I’ve been telling everyone I’m doing fine.
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10. |
Keel
05:00
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Stood on a bench in a red room,
fill it with ash, make it less you.
Wallowing in all this ‘love’,
a masterpiece, the effort that I went to
to keep it all intact in the reboot,
and I couldn’t be lower,
trying to kill time before I get to keel over,
way to know right from wrong!
I guess you were closer,
the time to make time had gone, I know.
A pat on the head like a nephew,
still, I’ll endeavour to forget you.
Christ, a fucking megaton
of guilt in all the letters that you left too,
I couldn’t have slept any night through.
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Lowswimmer Bristol, UK
Ed Tullett has served as a primary songwriter, producer, and contributor across five projects (including Novo Amor and Hailaker). But with Lowswimmer - his first solo endeavour - he invites us into a world crafted from a vision that’s decidedly his own. ‘Red-Eye Effect’ is a collection of songs concerned as much with rearview reflection as they are a hopeful sense of venturing forward. ... more
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