1. |
Empty
02:45
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|
Hold me how you want me,
I was taken with you,
sleep a while longer -
I was holding on too.
You lent me the present tense,
I could’ve died in it,
who needs making sense?
I would be happy,
you owe me less than that.
Hold my face a while,
I was broken in two,
we barely spoke for hours,
what’s a life gonna do?
Let me second-guess it,
I couldn’t lie to you,
let me coalesce it,
there could be time, but
oh, and I know
you owe me less than that.
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2. |
Commodore
02:52
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Over the deep Manhattan squall,
the din of summer going long,
it said I was here, but it didn’t feel I’d gone,
open the heavens, send me home,
The more that I said it the less I regret it,
I swore I heard you murmur something,
in four or five days we’ll be back there again and
if I can’t live it, I don’t deserve to go.
They said we killed the Commodore,
but all I heard was highway roar,
peeling the paint from swathes of the hotel walls,
I missed the bleak midwinter cold.
The more that I said it the less I regret it,
I swore I heard you murmur something,
in four or five days we’ll be back there again and
if I can’t live it, I don’t deserve to
occupy time in the myriad lives that
I don’t really feel that I can
quantify, I could die multiple times, but
I’ll never truly know anyone.
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3. |
Anymore
02:23
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In a fantasy that I’d been hunting,
couldn’t live it after all.
You imagined me as I always wanted,
I tried, I couldn’t be that anymore.
It’s a memory, the time escapes me,
wish I’d said it at all,
just surrendering to love, it’s funny,
I guess it doesn’t matter anymore,
Couldn’t laugh, couldn’t cry,
could barely find the time
to live at all, to get by,
just agonise,
I couldn’t ask, I wouldn’t pry,
a deafening desire
to be wanted, to be kind,
to last a night at all.
Did I actually think I’d forget you?
I’ve no ability to fall out of love -
it was realer now that time had shed it,
and it tries, it makes me miss it even more.
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4. |
Endlessly
02:47
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|
She came and said to me,
this time I won’t be staying,
the drive was dead to me,
hours of slow translation.
Don’t waste the energy,
siphon the pain and chase it,
it has a tendency
to make you just stand and take it,
and endlessly now, I hope she says it,
hang on to it, how I wish she’d stayed here.
I said it carefully,
it’s been a lot to take in,
but this is everything,
you couldn’t stop me waiting,
a part of me now thinks I could face it,
without a come down I can’t erase it.
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5. |
Caretaker
02:53
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Slowly I’ve been trying,
hell’s unyielding symmetry, above,
below, in all of us.
You gave me all this life,
I can’t even say how much I owe,
hell, I’m still in love,
stuck repeating us.
I won’t even try,
I can’t recall your touch,
so don’t even,
I’m just a caretaker.
A habit for some time,
it bears repeating,
fittingly, I’d run,
I can’t reset the sun.
A backup for real life,
a haven in my image, boarded up,
however it’s spun,
it’s never been worth it,
I won’t even try,
I can’t recall your touch,
so don’t even,
I’m just a caretaker.
Feel it in your gut,
you don’t belong in love.
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6. |
Lack Thereof
03:04
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We were in Spain and static,
time was so slow,
but I was “insane” for having
wished I was home,
but I was closer than I’d ever been,
that’s how I’ll remember it for us.
I was acting erratic,
hard to rewire,
but I’d been slowly remapping
since ’99,
and I was going off the empathy,
it didn’t seem to handle me that well.
Can I cheat my life (or lack thereof)?
Can I sleep next to me?
An about-face, my life is catching up,
it’s hard to be honest enough.
Had I been caring enough?
I was savage in Paris,
cruel to be kind,
dusty alleys and attics,
a head to rewind,
and it was hard to find the energy,
somewhere on the balcony I sunk.
Can I just be?
Can’t you be honest with me?
Can I be more than I was?
I didn’t care enough.
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7. |
Parallels
02:44
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I hope the sun gets blotted out,
real senses sapping, burning out,
couldn’t see the parallels.
Hard vowels, confetti, lazy house,
did LA deafen you as well?
Fate pending,
missed the ending, I can’t work you out,
don’t defend it,
you brought this all upon yourself,
slow down.
I’ll be your summit on the ground
I couldn’t relive what I felt,
I’m bored of it now,
where’s autumn? I’m somewhere else,
I’m bored of it now.
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8. |
Second Chances
03:37
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Go with it,
the cracks in the light made you glow,
whited out, write and I’ll
come visit,
I know,
an hour on the L train to wallow,
I need it now, I need surrounding.
Here in spirit,
I’m on the line, can you hold?
Loud sounds spin me out,
go figure!
I’ll walk,
only an ocean to go,
turn around, I’m still counting.
Give me all the second chances now,
truly, madly, deeply candid,
spell it out,
I could make it single-handed, how,
if it wasn’t impossible now.
So willing,
a habit’s a habit, you know.
A finish line to redefine,
instil it,
I won,
managed to act like I’d grown,
I need you now, I need surrounding.
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9. |
On and On
02:31
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It pains me
to bring this up,
you said we’d spoken,
you mentioned the time
we settled up,
I said we’d make it,
and on and on,
you can’t hide it now.
The rain came,
the flight,
you left by sunlight,
the shade won’t save me,
elected to drive,
a certain something
had all but failed me,
oh, don’t make me,
hollow me out, don’t make me.
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10. |
Second Hand
03:40
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Your eyes won’t leave me,
hoping in every minute left,
tonight’s east river’s gorgeous,
but it’s not everything.
How could I mean to let you down?
The thought of you clings to every sound,
it calms me down.
Time’s been golden,
even second-hand.
I hope we leave it open,
my mind’s been heading back
over the Severn crossing,
like I’m some leading man.
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Lowswimmer Bristol, UK
Ed Tullett has served as a primary songwriter, producer, and contributor across five projects (including Novo Amor and Hailaker). But with Lowswimmer - his first solo endeavour - he invites us into a world crafted from a vision that’s decidedly his own. ‘Red-Eye Effect’ is a collection of songs concerned as much with rearview reflection as they are a hopeful sense of venturing forward. ... more
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